Monday, September 21, 2009

Ask Dr. Wally - Handlebar tape

Image from Tambako the Jaguar on Flickr


Dear Dr. Wally,

My beloved cat, Fluffy, died recently from complications resulting from a life of dissipation, gluttony, and lack of exercise. She was quite large. I'm thinking of memorializing her by applying her hide to my handlebars as a kind of furry bar tape. Despite tireless searches on the interweb, I haven't found any method of performing this. Can you help? Oh, she's in the refrigerator until I hear from you.

Remorseful in Ramona

You're just messing with me, aren't you? Everyone knows you can't apply a cat's hide to your handlebars. The fur offers no padding whatsoever and once it gets wet, it stays matted down. Use sheepskin instead. Wool is a springy, shock absorbing material that cleans up easily with a bit of Woolite. I'd save the cat hide for doing static electricity demonstrations for the neighbor's kids, the obnoxious ones with their iPods, cellphones, laptops, and ground thumping stereo systems. Microcircuits don't like static discharges, but you didn't hear that from me!

Next month: Avoiding blood sucking monkeys from West Mifflin, Pennsylvania

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5 Comments:

Blogger Rantwick said...

Nice! Hey, my daughter has a pet snake that's lookin' a little sickly...

12:05 AM  
Blogger bother yam said...

Dr. Wally is right, cat hide is useless for bar tape.

It is really good for making winter helmet liners though...

8:20 AM  
Blogger ChipSeal said...

I hate washing all my cat hide covered things. All that hair in my mouth...

[acalangl]

4:32 PM  
Blogger Ed W said...

The newsletter editor wouldn't run this one. One of the board members is an ardent cat lover and she'd be offended. I thought it was funny, but then again, I only manage to rate above the household pets on special occasions.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Yokota Fritz said...

How well does the hide of Sea Kittens work?

6:26 PM  

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