G-mail diverted these to my spam folder, like I said, and the contents of that folder are, um, unusual. That's a polite way to put it, anyway. There's well over a thousand messages. Some are listed below because it's a quick and easy post. Yes, I'm fundamentally lazy.
Think You Know Much About "Intimacy"?
Yes, I do. And it's unlikely I'll learn more from your e-mail.
More bankers commit suicide
We can only hope.
Give her much more pleasure than she expects from you.
She's gonna out-live me. That should be pleasure enough.
Shower her with bedroom moments she won't forget
We have two kids. It's unlikely she'll forget how they came to be here.
Be hot long action king
Listen, at my age, “long hot action” involves spicy food.
Girls best friend ? Viagra pink!
And here I was thinking it was diamonds.
Become perpetuum mobile of love heedlessness semipellucid
Why does this sound like Umberto Eco talking dirty?
Get real mammoth in pants
Mammoths are extinct. What are you implying?
Become her master, he, whose rod can show her where heaven is.
You know, I kinda like this one as a new name – He-whose-rod-points-to-Heaven – or some such.
Get your hair problems fixed with Rogaine.
Have you seen my hair?
Why lie? I need money.
Ah. Refreshing honesty.
And you does feel badly? It is not needed to take a recipe!
Good. I wasn't planning on taking a recipe.
Well, that was fun. Now I can go empty that folder.